When we hear the word aphrodisiac, most of us immediately think of sex. Desire. Libido. Valentine’s Day clichés wrapped in red and pink. But herbal aphrodisiacs offer something far more expansive than that. They invite us into deeper relationship with our bodies, our hearts, and the living world around us.
In this solo episode of The Dancing Willow, recorded as winter quietly settles in, clinical herbalist, Elliott Brinkley explores herbal aphrodisiacs not as quick fixes for desire, but as plant allies for embodiment, emotional connection, creativity, and vitality especially during late winter, when energy can feel low, stagnant, or dull.
Listen to the full episode here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6WQ3uVWHveRekAqpwS34C6?si=MKjS899HRpajjmtEuKQjxA
Aphrodisiacs as a Practice of Embodiment
At their core, aphrodisiac herbs help us feel. They increase circulation, calm the nervous system, soften emotional armor, and invite us back into the sensory experience of being alive. Pleasure doesn’t only live in sex, it lives in sunlight on skin, movement to music, warmth in the body, the scent of flowers, and the subtle joy of presence.
Winter, and especially late winter, can challenge our capacity for pleasure. Cold, darkness, stress, and stagnation can dampen sensation and desire. Interestingly, many traditional aphrodisiac herbs are warming, stimulating, and mood-lifting making this season a perfect time to work with them.
Three Categories of Herbal Aphrodisiacs
Rather than seeing aphrodisiacs as one-dimensional, it’s helpful to understand them in three overlapping categories: circulatory, nervine, and heart-centered.
1. Warming & Circulatory Aphrodisiacs
These herbs increase blood flow throughout the body, and often to the pelvis, enhancing warmth, sensation, and vitality.
Damiana is a classic and beloved example. Native to Mexico and traditionally used by Mayan and Aztec cultures, Damiana supports pelvic circulation, uplifts mood, eases social anxiety, and gently alters consciousness in a way that brings us back into our bodies. Beyond arousal, Damiana enhances creativity, joy, and engagement with life. It’s an herb for those who feel flat, disconnected, or uninspired, helping bridge the gap between mental desire and physical sensation.
You can find Damiana as a single herb extract at the apothecary, as well as in many of our aphrodisiac formulas such as our Aphrodite’s Delight, Lover’s Tea, Fire Tea, & our delicious Damiana Cordials! These cordials can be added to sparkling water as a mocktail, mixed into cocktail recipes, drizzled on top of ice cream or added to warm water for instant tea. We have four flavors: Raspberry Rose, Apricot Vanilla, Rose Cacao & Blackberry Cardamom!
Horny Goat Weed, used in Traditional Chinese Medicine, works differently. It supports nitric oxide signaling in the body, gently enhancing blood flow and sustaining arousal once it’s initiated. It’s particularly supportive for people experiencing low libido due to coldness, fatigue, aging, or depletion.
You can find Horny Goat Weed as a single herb extract or in our Lover’s Tea!
2. Nervine Aphrodisiacs: Pleasure Begins with Safety
One of the most common root causes of low libido is stress. When we’re stuck in our heads or living in a chronically activated nervous system, it’s nearly impossible to feel pleasure.
Milky Oats is a foundational nervine aphrodisiac. Rather than stimulating desire, it rebuilds the nervous system’s capacity to receive sensation. It’s especially supportive during burnout, postpartum depletion, or times of prolonged stress when the body feels “touched out” or overwhelmed.
You can get Milky Oats as a single herb extract or find it in our Aphrodite’s Delight tincture!
Adaptogenic herbs like Maca and Shatavari work over time to restore vitality and resilience. Maca supports stamina, energy, and stress regulation, helping desire return gradually. Shatavari, a deeply nourishing yin tonic, supports hormonal balance, mucosal hydration, and emotional steadiness, particularly helpful during perimenopause, postpartum, chronic stress, or dryness.
These herbs don’t spark desire instantly; they restore the conditions that make desire possible.
Find Maca as a single herb extract & Shatavari in our Adaptogenic Honey Paste!
3. Heart-Centered Aphrodisiacs: Intimacy & Connection
True intimacy requires emotional safety. Heart-centered aphrodisiacs work on this deeper level, softening defenses and allowing us to be vulnerable, present, and connected.
Rose is the quintessential heart aphrodisiac. It doesn’t increase libido directly, but it removes emotional constriction that blocks intimacy. Rose helps the heart feel safe enough to open, supporting tenderness, grief processing, and authentic connection. Its aromatic oils act directly on the limbic system, calming the nervous system and inviting us into a receptive state.
Sip rose in our Lover’s Tea or try a rose-y Damiana Cordial!
Cacao bridges the physical and emotional realms. Rich in flavonoids and magnesium, cacao gently enhances circulation, supports bonding neurochemistry, and brings awareness to the heart. It’s especially supportive when emotional distance, busyness, or distraction mute pleasure and connection. Cacao helps us slow down, drop into the body, and remember how to be present with ourselves, others, and life.
Damiana Rose Cacao Cordial features double extracted cacao and it is luscious…
Aphrodisiacs as a Love Affair with Life
When we release the idea that aphrodisiacs are only about sex, they become something much more meaningful. They become allies for creativity, embodiment, emotional intimacy, and joy. They remind us how to feel again, especially during seasons that feel quiet, heavy, or uninspired.
Working with aphrodisiac herbs can be a deeply personal practice. Whether you’re seeking deeper connection with a partner, yourself, or the natural world, these plants offer gentle, powerful support. They help warm what’s cold, soften what’s guarded, and reawaken the spark of love that makes life feel vibrant again.
In times that feel lackluster, aphrodisiacs can help bring us home to our bodies, our hearts, and the pleasure of simply being alive.
Shop our full Herbal Aphrodisiac Collection here!